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Sunday, January 20th, 2008
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I went to a Bridal show today...
WOW.........................................
5/7/2010
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Monday, August 20th, 2007
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Ah man...this week has been filled with hilarious shows, phrases, and strange sightings, and of course I cannot remember any of them (except for the subject of this blog), but I just wanted to say that it wouldn't have really been possible without my lovely girlfriend by my side. She lights up my life so much. She has been in total homework mode with papers that were due for her summer classes, but she is half way through her last one, and of course school starts tomorrow, so yay for long nights of doing briefs and making note cards. (Okay, the notecards only take place around finals time). Anna and I have figured out what we are going to do ...either for our honeymoon or after she takes the bar. We are going to Europe. We are going to get a Europe railpass and just go on a few week trip all around the countries. First, I have to get a passport (no laughing Mary!), but when I do, we will be off to lots of countries. I think I can save up some money for these things. And oh yeah, I meantioned honeymoon which would mean that there was some kind of marriage before that. Yeah, as you can probably tell, Anna and I have not finalized a date yet. Everytime that we might get around to do some planning, just something wants to pop up! One of these days, we will, and when we do, don't you worry...we will get the message to ya! I mean, it would be important since we kind of have a large wedding party, but yeah. :) Let's see, I'm totally stressing about school. I am so behind on so many different things that it is hard to get a grasp on it all. I will say that I did get some things done tonight that I am kind of proud of, so it is a good start to the week. Ummmmm.....oh yeah! On September 8th, I will be interning at The L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center in their mental health department. Soon enough, I will have like 6 clients to call my very own, and be a part of group therapy and doing intakes and handling crisis clients. I'm really excited about it right now, but ask me in 2 months how I feel about it...haha...I'll probably just be in a complete daze. Here's some more random stuff...my family is coming to visit Sept 10 - 15. That should be fun! :) They're staying at our house, so it's going to be kind of cramped, going from 2 to 5 people in the house, but it will be fun. I haven't seen my family since Christmas time, so it will be awesome to spend some time and to show them the roads that I travel on and the all the Hollywood glitz and glam. They will be our first vistors from the East, so my family wins a very special award!! :) Of course the visiting doesn't stop because Anna's aunt is coming to visit at the end of Septemeber, and then a couple of weeks after that, we might be getting a visit from Anna's uncle, so yay for visitors! If you would like to book your stay at Anna & Mo's B&B, you only need to give a notice of a week, and we will have a nice warm bed for you. I'm not sure why I would call it a B&B because we barely make breakfast for ourselves in the morning, so you might just be shit out of luck. We could maybe call it Bed & Bath because that is what we can guarentee :) Speaking of visiting, when are Anna and I rollling back East? Let's see...Anna's final exam is on the 19th. So hopefully it would be right after that. I am not sure how things are going to work out because I will have lots of clients at that time, so I will have to tell my clients a couple of sessions before that I will be on vacation, so they could be either referred to someone else for 2 weeks or they can wait for me. Of course all of them will want to wait for me because I will be this amazing therapist!! Haha....oh yeah... Well it's late peoples and I have a doctor's appt. @ 8:00 am later this morning, and then I'm going to work, and then I'm going to this meeting that my LGBT specialization is hosting because they are introducing the LGBT scholarships they are handing out to new students and also old. So I need to get my application in for that scholarship because it's a $2500 scholarship, and I will gladly take free money!! It would help with paying for books or paying any other bills and things. Good night everyone!!
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Do you know why we win!?
Because we have been reading and reading about people packing their things and looking for new places, but guess what??
Anna and I moved into our new place on Thursday!
So we win!
Also for another quickie, Anna and I spent Memorial Day weekend in San Diego and it was WONDERFUL!!!
I have to go because I'm supposed to be working and not updating on livejournal!!
Pictures soon to come to a livejournal/myspace near you!
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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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I'm updating while I'm sitting in my classroom @ school with my very gay professor!
I HEART WIRELESS INTERNET!
And I also HEART AND LOVE my girlfriend!!
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Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
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I have a little time before Anna and I leave to start our lovely day, so I'm going to write about my job!
A little bit though...
On Monday...I was like on the Honeymoon of the job. Where the job is wonderful and that's all you can say about it and nothing could go wrong with the job.
Well, yesterday, Tuesday, the honeymoon was quickly over. I filed for 8 hours. That's all I did.
The extrememly crappy side of "administrative assistant".
The bitch slave work...
Have a good rest of the day everyone!! =)
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I'm sitting here...with my head hurting because I have been staring at this computer and the television all at the same time, but I am writing something. Take off the boredom that I am feeling right now ...and how I miss my girl, even though I will be seeing her again on Friday (COME TO THE PARTY!!!).
But the other thing I wanted to say was the fact that I am really in denial that I am leaving in two and a half weeks. I haven't been packing. Everyday I think about it, and then the thought goes away. I want to. And I am really excited about leaving and starting a new chapter in my life, but I don't want to give up what I have now. Family, friends, family, and more friends. These past couple of months, I have became so close, so fast that it has truely surprised me. I could spend all my time with the people I have hung out with in the last couple of months. I mean, it doesn't have to be all the time, but ya know what I mean. I hope anywayz.
I am probably talking about nothing and just being lonely, but hey! I can be sappy sometimes! But yeah, I should think about the great times that we have gone through. The great times, and songs, and sayings, and just in general, unforgettable things that will travel with me the 2600ish miles to my new home.
But I guess I should say, our new home...Anna and myself.
And that thought makes me smile. And that's the thought that makes me want to pack!
But I think a small snack will be better!
Bye everyone!
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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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I tried calling and calling, but no answer @ CWR. If you check this tonight to see if I'm online, I am telling you good night. I'm tired, and I hope everything at camp is going alright. I love you baby. Night! Mwah!
SWEET DREAMS!!! :)
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Counting down the hours, minutes, seconds to another sweet anniversary. Unfortunately...this is only the 2nd time we have not been together to celebrate our anniversary, but that's okay. There will be some more times where that will happen, but hopefully not too many, and we'll be able to celebrate together each month as time goes on.
I guess I could get really mushy and go on and on about my wonderful girlfriend and everything that she does for me and how her and I are everything perfect in this world, but why waste all that heartful stuff on 9 months? haha....
I will say that 1 yr. ago, I did not think I would be presenting my love to Anna. I did not think that I would be in love as much as I am now. I did not think that there was someone out there that knows me inside and out, that is my best friend before our relationship even started, and that girl whom is on the same pathways and dreams as I am. No one can say that our relationship has been easy. Well, difficult on an outsider point of view. We have dealt with backstabbers and liars. We have had to go through family issues (and since the trip to CWR, her dad has been great, and her mom is slowly coming around), and we are in this place right now....
.....happy
.....in love
.....embracing each other's presence
.....cannot think of being without the other person
and so on and so forth. It's so bad that I'm thinking about planning another trip to WV on Thursday, since I have Thursday and Friday of next week off. Leave Wednesday night and leave Sat. morning type of thing. Some way to see her again. Just to be in her presence would be lovely.
So this journal is for you baby. The love of my life....the center of my world. Yay for 9 months and yay for another and another and another and another and etc...
mwah!
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The one time I post something on livejournal and no one posts anything!?!?!?
What's up with that???
Well I have some food for thought questions:
1) Why was the Bush address to the nation and the BET Awards on the same night and starting at the same time?
2) During the BET Awards, Tom Cruise presented the Best Male Actor. Now, with the other presenters before him and afterwards, they all came up in 2s, 3s, or more and did some type of skit of joke before they presented the awards. Tom was by himself and the person who won (Jamie Foxx) was not even there, and then did this small thing with the cell phone.
Any thoughts about such things...
:)
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Hey everyone!
I guess I should do some type of entry.
I came back Monday morning from a lovely 4 day vacation with my baby @ Camp White Rock in good 'ole WV. It was interesting driving in 4 different states to get there. I had never been in WV, so it was cool to drive there and to have the experience of saying I have been in the state of WV. Anywayz....
to more interesting stuff...
the Camp is interesting. Not interesting in a bad way, but interesting in the fact that it's bigger then what I had thought it really was. I'm guessing camps are all like that, but still...I was impressed. I almost didn't think I was in the right place since I was turning onto a dirt road...haha. 10 mph people!!
On Thursday, when I got there....it was a lot of stares at me and the same question!! "Are you the new cook?!" I definitely was not going to be cooking, but I was there to be the slave to Teddie. So that night, I don't really remembered what I did, but I know I helped out with cleaning up and getting use to Dudley and the people around Teddie. That night, we ran out to Gabe's which is a discounted store of designer wear. They had a lot of things. We got there about 20 minutes to close, so we left there and went to Chili's, which was my first time eating there.
On Friday, Teddie and I (Lax) had oatmeal with the CITs (since the counselors were allowed to leave Thursday). It was my first time eating oatmeal, but yeah.....uhhhh....anywayz, I was actually introduced to the CITs as Lax and I started to work on my charm with them. I got really close to Butterfly and Skittles (backwards and upside down "E") but all the girls seemed to take a general liking to me. The girls, Teddie and myself went out to Pioneer (I'm guessing) to clean up the unit. I was in charge of the bathroom girls. I made a terrible decision to let Skittles knock down a "bee's nest" which in turned, ended up being a birds nest. 5 baby birds were in there. 2 survived the dropped, so Skittles and Bugz took the birds to an area of the camp where it would be most likely eaten. This is what I get for trying to be a leader.
Later on that day, the girls left and it just ended up being Teddie and I. Siesta (Tina, Horse Ranch Director) begged me to take Teddie out, so we went back to Gabe's (where Anna got a $30 Lane Bryant bra for $3.00 and 36 bars of candy for $9.00) and to Hoss's for dinner and then a movie. I had never been to Hoss's. It reminded me a lot of Ponderosa where you order your food before you are seated. I ate a weird combination of food since I'm doing this meatless diet. Yeah...It's been going alright. I'm almost a month in and haven't really felt too much of an effect. The only problem is when you want to go to resturants. I feel kinda bad for the vegetarians and the vegans of the world out there, but when you're the minority...I guess things get a little bit slighted.
Anywayz...after dinner, Anna and I walked around K-mart (since that was the only place opened at that moment and we were shooed out of the mall---closed @ 9), and walked around. We ended up in the deodrant aisle, when all of a sudden, these 3 guys came down the aisle, sprayed like 4 times on their body the Axe stuff and walked away. Anna and I couldn't help but laugh!! it smelled SO BAD!! haha....spray once with Axe!! At the movies, we went to see "Bewitched". It was such a cute movie. I thought the movie wouldn't work, but you can't help but fall in love with Nicole Kidman. she's so super cute in the movie. I recommend the movie!
On Saturday, Teddie and I slept in 'til about 10:30. That was nice. We did some signs and lamenating and other knick knack stuff around camp before we left again to go into Winchester. We went to Ruby Tuesday for dinner. We were going to Pargo's, but for some reason it was just a vibe that wasn't agreeing with both of us, so we went to RT. That was good. After we waddled out of RT, we went back to the mall for some more time in there. I went into the coolest Spencer and saw lots of rainbow/gay stuff and sex objects. That was interesting. I will say, the Apple Blossom mall is the only mall I know of that closes @ 9:00 on a SATURDAY NIGHT!!! but whatever....Anna and I kinda chilled in the parking lot until the movie started. Yes...we went to go see another movie!!!! We went to go see "Herbie: Fully Loaded". Cute movie. One part of the movie that I didn't understand was the fact of when she (Lindsay Lohan's character) figured out that Herbie had a personality. I didn't understand that. But during the movie, you found yourself reacting to Herbie motions or movements, especially when he fell in love with the Yellow bug. That was great! I would recommend the movie! It was the first time going to the movies 2 days in a row!! YAY for a lot of firsts!!
On Sunday was check in for the campers! That was fun. The different programs were "Wild, wild White Rock", "White Rock Rascals", "Get Down & Dirty", and "Backpacking". Everyone came except one girl which was a really good turn out. Then it was the time for dinner. Camp White Rock had found a cook, that was unfortunately attacked by a cat, but Chuck (cook) made the spagetti and garlic bread and salad with one finger with stitches. I could understand her pain for being a person who broke her finger. You don't realize how often you use your fingers on things 'til you try doing it without that finger. Well after everything settled down, it was time for me to pack my stuff up and go. I was waiting for Anna to get out of her meeting with her unit leaders and upper staff, but that didn't end really 'til 10:30. There was no way was I going to drive 3 hrs. that late, so I decided to stay 'til the next morning. I left @ 5 am the next morning. The whole good-bye process was tearful. Anna brings out things in me that I've never felt before with anyone else. I don't know...she completes me so. She makes me.....me! She begged for me to stay, but I couldn't. Yes, I would be getting paid more @ Camp White Rock then @ Jo-Ann Fabrics, but alas. that's what I have to say....
Well that's an update from me. I hope Jo likes this update. Anna...I love you my dear! I miss you bunches!!!!!! Thanks for the weekend!!
Bye everyone!
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It's been a lot of "wows" and laughs, but I only have time right now to write about this one...
I was eating brunch in the dining hall (which was really good I might add), and I look up and there is a rainbow flag saying "PEACE" down the middle of it.
HELLO!!!!!
CATHOLIC COLLEGE THAT WOULDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE A GAY MARRIAGE DONE IN CANADA WHEN THE PROFESSOR CAME BACK!!!!!!
I'm surprised...
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| Time: | 8:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  jubilant. |
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 Anna is going to kill me. That picture was huge. I hope someone...(::cough cough::), but I'm new at this. Everyone will have to bear with me.
I loved being one of the ticket holders! That was great. Also I was with her parents. Her parents are extremely cute, but they don't find me the greatest person in the world. Oh well...that's ok. I did my best to fit in and to look like I belonged to the group. My baby helped me the best she could.
Here's my baby during the "mingling" session:
Here is a picture of her mother and her. What did Gaylord say? If you want to know what she will look like when she is older, just look at her mother! :)
Being in the Meyerhoff was awesome!! It was my first time being there. I liked it. It would be great to see the symphony or something of that sort. Here is my baby again standing front and center!
I hope everyone enjoyed it!!
Also...doesn't my baby look hot in her dress...I weren't in any pictures, but that's alright. It wasn't my night. It was her's!!
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| Time: | 8:20 pm. |
| Mood: |  creative. |
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This is my baby....once again. We'll see if this works! But right now...it looks like this is going to be huge!! Oh well!!
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This weekend was one of those weekends that make you just say, "WTF, mate?"
On Friday,
I was hanging out with Anna. She was sick, so I was taking care of her, and we watched movies all day. We watched American History X (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!!) and also Lost and Delirious (WHICH I ALSO HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!!). I knew that I could possibly get sick, but I didn't care. I was going to take care of my baby!!
Well we were getting hungry, so I decided to go to Popeye's. I get to Anna's car, and I tried putting the key into the car. And it wouldn't fit. I'm like, "This can't be happening," so I try bending the key on top of the car, so it would be straighten, but it still wouldn't fit. I'm so frustrated by this time, and about to leave 'til I realize that there are soccer balls hanging from the rear view mirrow.
IT WASN'T HER CAR!!!!!!
Whoops!!!! So I see her car a couple of spots away. I kinda skip away to her car. Her car looked a little low on one side, but I didn't think about it too much because a) I had just made an ass of myself trying to key into someone else's car and b) I knew that my baby and myself were getting hungry, so I turn on the car and put it in reverse and realize that the car is still low. The car just wasn't in a dip. I put the car back in the parking spot and realized that the car had a flat tire. And I had just practically drove the tire off the rim. So I run back upstairs, and I tell her. I grab my keys and run to my car. Sprinting across campus. The people that saw me thought I was crazy!! Finally got food that night!!!
On Saturday,
I was on day duty. That was extremely boring 'til the Sports Athletic Banquet. Before the Sports Banquet was fun because Anna did my hair, makeup, and fingernails. I looked hot. I felt hot. I have a picture of my hotness, but I don't know how to put it on LJ. I might have to pay for LJ, but wants to do that???? Anywayz, the banquet was fun because I had my baby there, and I had my parents and sister there. That was great. The food was quite disappointing, but eh...what can ya say? I didn't realize 'til I got there, but I was being nominated for Underclass Athlete Award. Exciting huh? I didn't win, but that's okay. I can just be excited that I was nominated!! During dinner, my dad questioned Anna why she didn't send an announcement to them, so he could send her a graduation present. I thought that was super cute!!!
After the banquet, my dad decided to help out and change Anna's tire for her (since we told him during dinner of the situation). We had our jokes about her car, but my dad put her little "cute" donut on her car. Then we drove around, trying to find a place. We found one, and Anna and I are going to go, possibly tomorrow, to have her tire fixed. Thanks dad!
After Anna and I got back, she changed, and I just put on new pants and shoes, and left with Rene to Phinns. Phinns is just another notch in my belt with clubs, but I'm not sure if I'll go back again. When I first walked in, I felt so awkward and didn't think I belonged there at all. It was a first to me, when I didn't want to dance. I KNOW!?!?!?!?!?!? ME!!! NOT DANCE?????????????????????? I finally got back in the groove with "Hollaback Girl", so that was exciting. It got me out of my funk and finally dancing. The place was extremly small and smoky. My eyes hurt so bad. I smelled so gross. Yuck! But I will say that they played really good music, so that was exciting.
On Sunday (today),
I was on day and night duty!! So yay for that (grrrrrrr!!!). I talked to my parents and told my mommy Happy Mother's Day. My dad asked me today if I had went to church. I was like, "No." What kind of question is that? Also I had to talk to my dad because he wants me to apply for this job that pays $18.50 an hr. I think that's a pretty good summer!! To no avail...i can't find this website. Today's day duty was a little bit better. I opened 2 doors. How exciting!?!?!??!??!?! The night duty was a little interesting. Katherine, Lupe, Jacky, Stephanie, and company made it exciting. Jacky got Kat her first porn. "Young Ladies Pussy Love". Those crazy residents!! That was on the 1st round. On the 2nd round, I heard them watching the movie. They are crazy. Then Anna and I sat down and talked to Lupe and Katherine about our first encounters. We are silly whenever we're telling people because those times were somewhat of a blur and we can't account everything, but we do remember bits and pieces. We're super cute with each other.
Well it's late, and yes, I have the sniffles and my throat hurts. I caught Anna's cold, but whatever. I don't care. I love her to death, and she's my love! I'll do anything for her. I'm tired, and it's time for me to go to bed!!
Night everyone!!!
P.S. Found out in Anna's book for Women's Studies that you can possibly call your significant other, "Home Slice!" teehee...
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| Time: | 6:41 pm. |
| Mood: | cheerful. |
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Hey everyone...
Supposedly my LJ works again where people can see me in their Friend'slist. that's exciting! I don't have much to say. i turned in my lacrosse equipment. That was bittersweet. So happy that the season is over, but upset that the season is over. I thought, overall, the season went well. We pulled through some rough times, and we only lost 5 times this season. Those were really hard losses, but ya know what, we pulled away with 9 wins and 7 people on All AWCC!!
Also I found out today that my 25 page paper for Trinity is due next Thursday! EEEEEEKKK!!!! I don't know what I'm going to do!!
Tonight, Anna and I are going to be attending safe space @ UMBC. It's the last one of the year and hopefully it's a good one. The "Couples Crew" will go out to AppleBee's as usual. I really shouldn't be going out because I HAVE TO WORK ON MY PRACTICUM!!!! PAPER!! but that's okay!! I love procrastination and no sleep. I wouldn't be a college student if I didn't love those things. Well I needs to be going. talk to ya'll later!!!
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Saw this old profile test thing when Anna was searching Jo's old entries trying to find something for her Women's Studies class. Figured I would do it!
Your future
Age you hope to be married- I told my mom that I wanted to get married October 6, 2012. I don't know why. I just picked a date. 2012 is right around the corner, so I don't want to rush things. I want things to settle and know that my darlin' Anna is ready right along with me.
Numbers and Names of Children- A few..maybe. Mary says that I'm going to have triplets. But I would name Lavendar, Abigail, Jazz, Bradley
Describe your dream wedding- Beach, Justice of Peace, the waves in the background, the wind in my hair, and Anna holding my hand
How do you want to die- happy
What do you want to be when you grow up- I don't know. Hopefully graduated from grad school with my PsyD.
Want to visit- places outside of the US and Canada
When you want to retire- when it's time
Who you want to marry- teehee..she knows!
(X) gotten lost in your city
(X) saw a shooting star
(X) been to any other countries besides the united states
(X) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
( ) hugged a stranger
(X) been arrested (don't ask about that one)
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (it wasn't milk, it was kool-aid)
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) swore at your parents
(X) been in love
(X) been close to love
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
(X) broken a bone
( ) been high
(X) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped school
( ) flashed someone
(X) saw a therapist
( ) done the splits
( ) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
(X) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(X) bitten someone
(X) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(X) been fired (don't ask! haha)
(X) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe (I wish!)
(X) slept with a co-worker (teehee)
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show *most of it
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) Eaten Sushi (YAY for Sushi!)
( ) Been skiing/snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(X) gone to college
( ) graduated college (Next year baby!!!)
( ) done hard drugs
(X) tried killing yourself
( ) fired a gun
(X) purposely hurt yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone
YAY for surveys!! I'm just in a good mood because of 3 exciting things!!
1) I finished my Powerpoint presentation for Practicum 2 days early!! So now I have to rehearse my presentation, so I'm not just reading off the screen.
2) I found out that I made All AWCC-1st Team!! How hotness is that!!! Me excited!!
3) Lashea called me and told me that our Time Share Resort in Las Vegas came through, so it's VEGAS BABY for me after graduation!!! =)
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Saturday, April 30th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  energetic. | | Music: | Oh - Ciera ft. Ludacris. |
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Chillin' here on a Saturday night and not much going on.
I guess I should tell everyone that I acquired a concussion on Wednesday against St. Vincent's. We won! I mean..shit! We can't lose and have me all jacked up! I went to the hospital Wednesday night with the coaxing of my friends, family, and girlfriend. I was there for 5 hrs!! but I got to do a CAT Scan and I had never done such things. I had only read about them in my psych books, so I was kinda excited about that. If anyone had seen me on Wednesday, I definitely had slurred speech, difficulty with depth perception, my whole head hurt, nauseated the whole night, and supposedly not walking in a straight line. I do appreciate everyone having a general concern with me and I THANK ALL OF YOU!!!!!
And of course...
I'm stubborn!
So I played today @ the Semi-Finals game against Chestnut Hill. We won 15-1. I had 2 saves and Chestnut Hill only got off 3 shots! So exciting!! We play Hood tomorrow @ 2. They're going down. I'm sick of their talk about being #1 and that they're going to knock us off our high horse and everything. They can just kiss all our asses!!! teehee...
I found out today that my Secret Siker person was ANNIE!! She rocks!! She got me a T-Rex (supposed to be a gator) pinata and lots and lots of chocolate to put in it. Also she got me this HUGE monkey that looks a lot like Millie...the monkey I gave Anna for Christmas. Also I got these other monkey stuff. I had no idea that I liked monkeys that much, but I loved it and I love Annie!! She rocks my socks!!
After the game, I came back here and slept.
and slept...
and slept...
I heard the phone at times, but I finally woke up when my baby called me. I went to sleep @ 1:30 and she called @ 7:30!!! 6 HOUR NAP!!! It felt so good. It was good talking to my baby also. She had MSL Annual Session in Annapolis this weekend. She came back last night and she's coming back tonight AS I TYPE!!! so that's exciting!! I love my baby. I need to see her as much as I can because when the summer hits...we're going to be separated from each other for a long time.
Alright...I'm going to continue to clean and maybe start on some homework before my baby gets here. Well...we'll see how much gets done. Peace out!
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1. When there are three different colors on the car, and they are all on the hood.
2. When the automatic seat belts have a delay on going.
3. When the brakes are having either a good day or a bad day.
4. When you can be driving down the road at 50 mph and play with the emergency break like it's nothing.
5. When you can put your car in neutral and the car stops shaking.
6. When your lights on your dashboard just go on and off as they please.
7. When you ask your friends if your tires are all right on your car.
8. When your car constantly sounds like a type of animal.
9. When the year of your car only came with one side mirror.
10. When your car has a name to it with the following: old, tank, or boat.
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Whenever I get on the role of updating on LJ, I'll just go ahead and do it. Just because I have nothing else better to do or or trying to procrastinate on some homework.
I was looking up graduate schools for PsyD programs. Anna got me interested in my future again because she was looking at law schools for when she goes. I told her that I don't look at grad schools because I don't want to look at the disappointment. I don't want to look at the rejection letters of not having the right GPA or not being involved in the right curricular activities. I look back at the last 3 yrs. of college and have I really done enough. For me. Have I done enough? Could I have done more? Could I have been more involved. I'm not sure if I could. I had no intention of being a part of a dance team and now I am the head person of that. Also I had no idea that I would be accepted into a honor society and now I am president of that honor society. How amazing is that? I am proud of the things that I have accomplished, but is it going to be enough for grad school. Is it going to be enough to get into a top school where I will be seeked out when I graduate from there for a well paying job? What am I going to do if I have to relocate to the school? I don't have the money to just up and move. I don't even have the money now. It's been rough lately trying to pay for bills and to try and be a good girlfriend. I've been good so far, so there isn't much to worry about, but I'm kinda living from paycheck to paycheck and I hate doing that. I like to have a comfortable zone and that zone is being violated right now, so that's not fun at the moment. But that's alright...I will bounce back from that.
I don't really know where I want to go. For grad school I mean. I know I want to be in a accredited psychology program going after my PsyD in Clinical Psychology...5 yr. program. I did see a 4 yr. program, but that just seems like way too much of a hassel. For a while, I was looking at Chicago School of Professional Psychology as a possible school. Tonight I came across the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology. That's in Boston, and that would be great. It would still be the same amount of time away from home, but it would be cheaper for living there. Well I believe so...I haven't looked up those things yet, but I think so. I haven't heard anything about Boston being too expensive of a city, but then again, I've never been to Boston.
Also I have other intentions of living in Boston. Boston is in MA. MA has legal marriage. Is it so wrong of me to think of such things? I'm thinking about my future. I'm thinking about the woman of my dreams. Yes, you could probably go back in my calendar when I was with Jen and see that I probably told her that she was the one that I wanted to be with, but Anna...Anna it's different. With Anna, I'm on such a deeper level with her. With Anna, I feel like an actual person and not someone that has to live up to some type of standard that a girlfriend is supposed to be. With Anna, she loves me. With Anna, she doesn't expect anything but my love from me. With Anna, she is generally interested in stuff that I am in and doesn't dismiss it just because it isn't "her thing". I ran off a list of over 50 things why I love Anna. I'm able to continue with the list. She's someone I want to have a future with. I'm so happy to have her in my life. I'm so happy to make my life a little bit stable. I know how she's feeling about things. I don't have to guess. I don't have to figure it out.
I think I keep writing in this silly thing tonight because I'm lonely. I don't have Anna by my side because we're both on duty tonight. It just makes it a little bit lonlier that she has people in her building to hang out with her and get food and what not. I've just been in my room tonight, listening to music, and eating. Food is definitely against me. I just eat and eat when I'm bored. Ugh....I need to watch myself after lax prax or I'll blow up like a house. It bugs me that I'm the heaviest person in my family. Doesn't that suck? I weigh 215 lbs. See. I said It. I wish I wasn't that weight. On Wednesday, I felt so out of place on the lax team because everyone else was in tank tops or sport bras and here I was in a t-shirt. It was the first time in the season where I felt fat and the big person on the lax field. I was finally put into perception of how other schools perceive me. How other schools see that I am one of the bigger goalies that they encounter. That I might take up the whole goal. It sucks.
I don't know why I put up with this image problem. I'm 21 yrs. old. I've been the "overweight kid" for the last 15 yrs. What is different? The only difference is that all the negativity is coming from within. It comes from this deep seeded hatred I have to Dion Lockridge. It's this deep seeded hatred towards my cousins. I've went off from the weight thing.
Anna asked me why I hadn't made a shirt? To the DE people that don't know what I'm talking about, we hold the Clothesline Project where women from prisons, shelters, and our school express on shirts how they were either abused, assulted, sexually hurt in any way or they knew someone that went through it. April is Domestic Violence Month, so it's a good month to hold the event. I've been wanting to make a shirt ever since I came to school. I've went through things, but I told Anna today that I don't know what I would write on it. I've talked about it so much. I talked about it for 2 yrs. with the school psychologist, I wrote a story about a more recent event for Nevin when I was a freshman. I told my ex-g/f and my current g/f and most of my closest friends from high school knows. I don't know what else to say about it. I don't know what to say that everything I've been through sucked! I guess I don't want to relive any of it again. I guess I don't want anyone else to see me. I don't want anyone to guess it's me. Don't want them to know that things sucked for me. Don't want to think about the images. Don't want to think about those guys. They don't deserve my time. They don't deserve my attention. They DON'T DESERVE ME!!! NEVER WILL AND NEVER AGAIN!!!!
I guess I might have something else to say...
I do thank everyone that reads this. I'm sorry for the seriousness, but when you have time to think, who knows what you will find in the long run.
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sexymamamo's journal
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lonely.